It seems my increased positivity is making me forget why I started this blog in the first place - to encourage positivity even when it scarce! Anyway, what that's precis for is me having a nearly perfect weekend. Unhurried, lots of time to do my own thing, largely at my preferred pace but also lots of well-timed socialising that was fun, but not so fun I overspent or ended up with a hangover!
So, I need to come up with 6 positives as a minimum and quickly because I still need to wash my dishes and I want to be in bed (and asleep) by 11pm so I can start the working week feeling as refreshed as I currently do now.
1. I had a great workout in Pilates on Saturday morning. It reminded me why I tolerate the boredom I experience about half way through the class and made me hopeful that I would get back my strength and get back to exercising properly soon.
2. The glorious sunshine that actually spanned this entire weekend. It may not have been quite warm enough for shorts, but it was enough to convince me that spring is well on its way.
3. Because I went to bed at a sensible hour on Friday night, I had a lie in but still had ALL day left to do with as I pleased which included doing some much needed house work and other chores. All this meant that I was able to come home on a Saturday night to a pleasantly clean and tidy flat.
4. I didn't get completely thrown by the clock change. In fact, I so far have managed not to make a single time change mistake. This may be a first in the 16 or so time changes I have been through in my 8 years in the UK.
5. I managed to get in a trip to Decathlon where I successfully spent NO money AND a 4 mile walk along the river bank to book club. All this after a 2 hour lie and an eggs on toast for breakfast in bed. It was truly awesome.
6. I went to my first book club ever, met a whole bunch of new people and remembered 2 of their names. But here's the real positive, I expressed my honest and controversial opinion about the book largely altering the overall group perception of it! They described it as pedestrian and pointless but after my relatively well-argued perspective they all began to realise that there actually were numerous layers to the story and actually it was quite masterful after all they'd just missed it. Largely - I didn't express this of course - because as one of the characters in the book states their powers of observation have been blunted by privilege. I think what I may need to expand on is how I have an enormous fear of saying something stupid and have pretty much NEVER asked a question in a large group, never mind expressed an opinion of my own and definitely not expressed an opinion that contradicted at least 80% of the rest of the group's! Normally I would sit in dumb silence, try not to say anything and just make some sort of noise indicating agreement and that would be with a group of people I know! I have changed, my confidence has grown and I might actually not only be able to be a skilled clinician, but a skilled leader of people and leader of developments in my field as well. I left that group feeling stimulated by the discussion and also very hopeful about my personal growth. And a little smug as well. I don't think they knew what to make of me. Even if I'm not actually younger than any of them, I definitely look it and they were the ones asking me for information towards the end. It was wonderful and very needed positive reinforcement. If I can remember this experience, take from it that my opinions and knowledge are valid and valuable, I will kill at interview next month. Oh yes I will.
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